“Are you having strange thoughts again?”
“No.”
“What do you mean by no? We’ve been together for over 10 years, how can I not recognize your expression?”
Park Seung-gi grumbled and sat down next to him.
“What about the fact that you kept filming?”
“The battery is dead. If I had known this would happen, I would have brought a spare battery. I’m dying of regret.”
The artificial grass, which had lost its color, crumbled under his palm as he grumbled and touched the dirt floor.
“…….”
“Let me guess what you were thinking about digging again?”
“Were you thinking that it was because of you that you got caught at the gate?”
In Yoo-shin’s shoulders hunched even further.
“………………It’s true. If you hadn’t come to cheer me on, neither you, Gyu-ha, Hye-yeon, and Team Leader Choi would have gotten involved.”
“Hey. Leave me out. Gate scholar, no, I only have a bachelor's degree, but anyway, dying inside the gate is rather an industry award. I’m happy to die here." (he’s saying this sarcastically cuz he’s a fanatic of dungeons.)
"Still……………….”
“But what?”
With a firm gesture, Park Seung-gi hit In Yoo-shin on the back of the head with a loud sound. It really hurt.
“I like everything about you, but the problem is that you’re digging too much. If what you say is true, the reason you took this test is because of Hyeon Gyu-ha, but isn’t the root cause because of him? If we dig deeper, the person in charge who decided on this physical test location as the gymnasium is also at fault.”
“…….”
“That’s exactly what you’re saying when you say that people got swept up in it is your fault.”
In Yoo-shin rubbed the back of his aching head and remained silent. Park Seung-gi hesitated and opened his lips at his face, which was still gloomy.
“………………They didn’t die because of you.”
And as soon as he said that, he regretted it.
In Yoo-shin's eyes, looking at Hyeon Gyu-ha digging deep into the ground, had an expression that made him want to throw himself into that deep hole instead.
They dug two more holes 100 meters deep, but they couldn't find the subway map or the dungeon boss. The group put their heads together again, but no solution came to mind.
"You said there was a store, right? First, let’s secure food and water.”
Lee Hye-yeon’s words meant that we might have to stay at the gate for a long time. We brought sealed food and water from the store, and brought mats used in classes from the center and laid them out on the playground.
We also had to deal with the attacks of the demons during that process. It was okay for now, but the hunters’ mana and stamina would eventually run out.
There was a shortage of mats and blankets, and the hunters needed rest. The group split into four teams, each centered around Hyeon Gyu-ha, Gong Tae-seong, Lee Hye-yeon, and Choi Jin-hyeok, and decided to take turns resting.
The sky, which never changed day or night, was unchanging in brightness, so it wasn’t easy to fall asleep even if we closed our eyes.
“Have you eaten?”
When I opened my eyes, drawn by the soft voice, I saw the owner of the voice lying on his side with his arm propped up. In Yoo-shin moistened his dry lips with the tip of his tongue.
“I took a bite of the bread, but I couldn’t taste anything, which was strange since the texture was same, so I haven't eaten yet. I know it's a bit extravagant to talk about it, but I can still endure it. What about you, Gyu-ha-ssi?"
"I didn't feel like eating, so I drank some water. You're not cold, are you? Should I bring you more clothes?"
"It's okay."
The conversation, which had been whispering quietly so as not to disturb those around him, was cut off ambiguously.
I can't sleep, so I don't know what to say to continue the conversation. In Yoo-shin silently moved his gaze to the side. Hyeon Gyu-ha's profile, lying down and staring at the sky, felt empty.
"………………I’m sure the outside know that we got caught up in the gate, right?"
"It wasn't just one or two, but dozens of people disappeared in broad daylight, so there must be many witnesses. Two S-class people got caught up, and if they can't get out and get killed, there'll be chaos."
A thin sneer formed at the corners of his lips.
The tone, which mentioned not only others but also his own death, was light as if it were a joke. In the sneer that could be taken as a joke, In Yoo-shin felt like he had caught a glimpse of his inner self.
It was really light for him. Death.
<Don't worry. Even if I die here, I’ll definitely send you out of the dungeon.>
In Yoo-shin quietly looked at Hyeon Gyu-ha, who had said that. After it was revealed that the dungeon boss was not visible, Hyeou Gyu-ha became silent. Hyeon Gyu-ha, who had been thinking about saving In Yoo-shin even though he would easily give up on his own death, no longer mentioned his own survival.
Was the sight of his gloomy eyes looking at passive suicide or active suicide?
In Yoo-shin took a deep breath so that his anxiety would not show on the outside.
"Do you know………………. something?"
Only the eyes moved sideways and looked at In Yoo-shin. In Yoo-shin was relieved that his face, reflected in the clear amber-colored irises that looked like melted jewels, looked relatively similar to usual.
"Why do you think so?"
"It's just that. It feels a little different."
"Hmm, I guess I can't fool my Master."
Hyeon Gyu-ha snickered.
"I'm thinking about what to do. Last time in the dungeon, thanks to Yoo-shin-ssi's help, I was able to find what I was looking for early, so I was feeling a little motivated………………. But now that it’s trying to play with me in the palm of his hand, I'm getting really annoyed."
"I was just thinking about whether to just beat them all up and shoot them in the head."
It’s light to him, as expected. Death to him.
In the black and white world where the wind doesn't blow, his weightless words fell down into the ground. In Yoo-shin stared blankly at the fragments of the fallen words.
"But don't worry."
Hyeon Gyu-ha's eyes, turning his body to the side again and looking at In Yoo-shin, curved gently.
"If I die, this gate will probably return to normal and a boss will appear somewhere. I don’t really like Gong Tae-seong, but since Hye-yeon Noona and Choi Jin-hyeok are there, it won't be hard to clear. Yoo-shin, you can just go back safely."
"………………Then, what about you, Gyu-ha?"
"Don't worry about the corpse. After I die, who cares if you burn it, bury it, or throw it inside the gate? Rather, if I die, the taming will be lifted, and you won’t have to endure the annoying stalker’s nagging, just right. Come to think of it, suicide was the fastest way to lift the taming.”
“No, that’s not it……………….”
Hyeon Gyu-ha, who was genuinely and cheerfully whispering as if he had found the best way, held onto his hand tightly. The body temperature, which was slightly higher than usual, prickled his palm.
“Gyu-ha-ssi, do you really want to do that?”
In Yoo-shin doesn’t fully understand the weight of life that Hyeon Gyu-ha is carrying. Discussing life and death with him would be nothing more than a superficial, lame joke.
That’s why I asked that to his heart.
“I think that people’s lives are not equal and that there are differences. I wasn’t anything special, and the rest of my life will be nothing special, just a common life. I’m not like Seung-gi who can achieve anything in the academic field. My awakening ability is only good for raising hamsters.”
An expression that seemed to be difficult to understand spread across Hyeon Gyu-ha’s face. In Yoo-shin slowly shook off the long-standing contemplation caused by the terrible regret he had kept in his heart for 14 years.
It’s different from the chaos of the time when the dungeon break was a mess, but the danger of life being threatened is the same.
<Why you! Why are you alive!>
In Yoo-shin is still convinced that he was the one who should have died back then.
“If you’re thinking of killing yourself to get someone like me out, don’t do it. I’m not a person worthy of being used as an excuse for Gyu-ha-ssi to commit suicide.”
If this gate was a place where someone's life had to be sacrificed to clear, In Yoo-shin knew that he would have committed suicide without hesitation. This is not noble altruism or a holy spirit of sacrifice.
Since there is a difference in life, if one insignificant, ordinary person's life can be used to save several hunters, wouldn't that prove the reason why he couldn't die and lived on? Wouldn't the deaths of those who passed away also be given meaning?
However, this gate is not a place where life is moved by the pursuit.
"………………Are you doing this because you want to prevent my suicide?"
"If it were possible, I would………………. But it seems cruel for me, who doesn't even know how hard it is for Gyu-ha-ssi, to hold on to you and tell you not to die."
In Yoo-shin can't choose death for him. To extract a little more value from the end of his ordinary, miserable life.
Hyeon Gyu-ha rubbed his face roughly with his palm and let out a bitter laugh.
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Credits:
Translator: Hoshi Miya
Editor/Proofreader:
What is this😭 where is my comedy, why are they both depressed, they making me cry