111.
Clack, boom!
Chae Yoo-jeong, very embarrassed, stood up without knowing what to do. The chair that was pushed by the rough gesture fell to the floor, making a loud noise.
“Hyu-hyung.”
When I finally met Chae Yoo-jeong for the first time in a long time, his face was filled with fear rather than joy. The pale-faced man hesitated and took a step back.
I watched the action silently and then explained.
“I stopped by for a moment at the request of Tae-young. Hyung is now with coach Yoo Gyeong-seok… Didn’t he say that? We were in the hallway, talking to him.”
“Ah…………….”
Chae Yoo-jeong, who was staring at me in fascination, quickly turned his head and covered his face with his hand. I left his reactions be and looked inside his hospital room.
The interior of what appeared to be a single room was quite large and clean. I slowly walked inside and spoke to Chae Yoo-jeong, who was still stiff.
“Come on.”
Chae Yoo-jeong, startled, shook his head. His complexion was still extremely pale.
“I can’t smell, so come closer.”
“…….”
I could tell right away from Chae Yoo-jeong’s behavior as I sat in front of him with the window open.
Clicking my lips as if I had been punctured in the head, I waited for a while and then carefully narrowed the distance towards Chae Yoo-jeong who seemed conflicted. I waited patiently, and when I was three steps away from Chae Yoo-jeong, I spoke again.
“I heard something from Coach Yoo Gyeong-seok, whom I met in the hallway before coming here.”
“…….”
“I heard you don’t eat properly or sleep well. And then you refuse all counseling and medication.”
Chae Yoo-jeong lowered his head, unable to meet my gaze. The situation he was facing seemed exceedingly difficult to bear.
“What is the reason for your refusal? Are you protesting to make me feel guilty?”
“What? N-no! I didn’t!”
“How can I believe that?”
As I responded indifferently, Chae Yoo-jeong’s eyes instantly turned bright red. Before I knew it, Chae Yoo-jeong lowered his wet eyes and forced himself to swallow his cries as he stuttered to explain.
“I-f I…… receive counseling, I will definitely get stronger... And be prescribed medicine.”
“And then?”
“Strong drugs make me drowsy… My mind would be blank all day... I was planning to eat it after the season was over.”
“The result is you collapsing?”
“… I-I tried to hold on a little longer, but it didn’t work out. Once I start taking medication, I can’t stop it midway, but then I’ll have problems with practicing and competing in games…”
Chae Yoo-jeong, who had a tough time holding back his tears, continued to breathe heavily and spoke in a wet voice.
“I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty. Really, really not. I thought you had completely forgotten about me.”
At the part he said that I thought I had forgotten, Chae Yoo-jeong’s eyes could clearly be seen filling up with tears again.
“Sorry. Don’t worry Hyung... I didn’t mean to trouble you but ended up in doing so… I tried to be very active. Otherwise, it would make me pathetic… I’ll take care of my behavior.”
Chae Yoo-jeong, who was staring at me with a frozen expression, eventually closed his eyes. His face was much paler than before.
It was equally difficult for me as I had to intentionally bring up hurtful stories. The sharp pain radiated through me like a sharp needle gouging out my chest.
“I don’t… like it, Hyung. I don’t like it….”
Chae Yoo-jeong, who was silently shedding tears for a long time, begged me as if grasping at a straw.
“I’m really not confident about that. I can’t do it………………”
“No, you can. You have to do it.”
“Hyung, please. I……………”
“If you regret lying and deceiving me, do it no matter what. It’s the only favor I can ask you in this situation.”
I had been waiting for Chae Yoo-jeong for the past three months, hoping that he would show a different side of himself, even if it was just a small change, but in the end, he failed. Now there was nothing more I could do.
Like I said to Chae Yoo-jeong, I also planned to live my life forgetting about this guy. Now, I won’t even watch the game competition and I’ll also delete the number that I couldn’t delete until now.
Currently, there was no trust or belief between me and Chae Yoo-jeong, only my distrust and Chae Yoo-jeong’s obsession. Even if we stayed by each other’s side, our distrust and obsession would only deepen, and there was no chance of trust or confidence being restored.
So the ending we had to face was this.
“I’ll go.”
“Hyung……………….”
“Be well.”
After saying my farewells, I turned away from Chae Yoo-jeong. But before I could take a few steps, my arm was grabbed by Chae Yoo-jeong.
The more I listened, the more frustrated my heart became. When I couldn’t hold back any longer and let out a small sigh, Chae Yoo-jeong’s eyes, which had been tense, shook uneasily.
“Stop being needlessly stubborn and get counseling. Take medicine. If you have a problem like this, of course you have to take care of your mind first, is the game that important? Is the team forcing you to do it?”
“That’s not it…………………”
“If you really care about me, don’t make me come here like this.”
“Sorry. I will try my best.”
“Chae Yoo-jeong, I want you to make that effort….”
Without realizing it, I stopped talking for a moment. However, since it was me who had come to visit the patient to say this, I opened my mouth again without hesitation.
“I hope you use it to forget me.......okay?”
Chae Yoo-jeong’s face became blank. He seemed unable to understand what I had just said.
“Stop looking into me, stop watching broadcasts... Don’t even look up what I’m doing in game.”
“W-what… Hyung.”
“Delete my number. Don’t ask people around you about me. Just like that… Get rid of everything, Chae Yoo-jeong.”
Chae Yoo-jeong, who distorted the corners of his eyes, eventually began to pour out his thick teardrops.
“Why, what’s wrong? I, uh, ugh… Did I do something wrong again?”
He shed a surprising number of tears. Even though I was watching him do so, I didn’t even touch Chae Yoo-jeong. I desperately wanted to wipe away his tears right away, so I pressed my shaking hand down with force.
“It’s wrong for you to like me too much. To be honest… I don’t think that’s normal.”
“W-wait a minute… Hyung, wait a minute. Don’t go!”
“…….”
“Like this… It can’t end like this. I, I… Hyung and I...………….”
Chae Yoo-jeong, who was trembling and holding my arm with both hands, looked at me earnestly. I could tell even without hearing what words were not spoken until the end.
“You think you and I are destined?”
Even though it got to this point, Yoo-jeong was still immersed in fate and not looking at the present, and a sigh of despair rose up to the tip of my throat.
‘What I want from you is not to dwell on fateful words…’
“This is not fate, Chae Yoo-jeong.”
If I had to be honest, I guessed it was a relationship full of mistakes. Because it gave me and Chae Yoo-jeong bad memories.
“Think carefully about what I just said and what I meant. Until then, I don’t want to talk to you anymore. I’m going now then.”
Chae Yoo-jeong’s hand, which had been holding me with great effort, fell down. I opened the door to the hospital room and came out into the hallway, leaving Chae Yoo-jeong behind with unfocused eyes.
As I left the hospital room filled with soggy and wet feelings, the cool hallway air touched my skin. I felt as if I had come out of my dream and returned to reality.
“Ha…………… “
A strong fatigue came over me, as if I had run with all his might. Pressing my puffy eyes, I let out a tired breath and took my phone out of my jacket.
I quietly looked down at Chae Yoo-jeong’s cell phone number saved in the phone log and pressed the edit button.
[Do you want to delete the contact information?]
I stared at the information message for a moment and then clicked [Delete]. Following Chae Yoo-jeong, the number saved as Yoo Chae was also deleted.
[Deleted.]
Two numbers disappeared from the phone log where various people’s numbers were stored. I finally deleted Chae Yoo-jeong’s number, which I had been unable to do before.
My chest felt heavy and uncomfortable, like I wasn’t wearing my own skin. But I didn’t recover the number and just put the cell phone in my jacket.
‘This is the end.’
Or at least for me, it is. From now on, it was Chae Yoo-jeong’s responsibility. If only he knew and understood how I felt when I said those words... There may be something more between us, but he wouldn’t know until then.
“Uh, are you finished talking?”
Seo Tae-young, who had gone down to the cafe on the first floor with Yoo Gyeong-seok, spotted me and approached me.
“Yes. Thanks to you for leaving his seat, we had a good conversation.”
“How about you? How is Yoo-jeong?”
“He wanted to rest alone now, so I came out first.”
“I see? Then I guess I’ll see you later.”
After chatting a few words with Seo Tae-young and Yoo Gyeong-seok, I left the hospital, asking for their understanding that I would go first because I had work to do.
As I crossed the central hall of the hospital and came out, a lot of light pink cherry blossom petals flew in from somewhere. This time too, it looked like snow falling on a winter night.
-Today, I am the happiest of all.
When I saw the cherry blossom petals fluttering under the sky, Chae Yoo-jeong’s voice came to mind. A bitter smile came out naturally.
‘I probably don’t remember anymore….’
HM: me listening to this song from the beginning → アンノウン・マザーグース Arrange ver. / wowaka 青木葉 (cover) (youtube.com)
The thing abt taking medication… it’s true that you get drowsy…. I halfway felt like sleeping… The medicine by itself is expensive but it was better than the consequences… I have to say I relate to YC.
KIRA - Again ft. rachie (Remix Cover) (youtube.com) This song matches the YC situation rn. Angst is hitting hard. haa….
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Credits:
Translator: Hoshi Miya
Editor/Proofreader: Meimei, Ghostx
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I love the story and the MC, but honestly I don't really understand what changes the MC expects from the ML to show him.
Is it like showing him doing well without the MC or something but how is that different from showing that he has moved on from the MC lol confused...