94.
“Yoo Ji-han. Are you okay?”
Kim Dae-seok frowned suspiciously and asked out of worry. I answered calmly, emptying my soju glass in one go.
“What.”
“Why on earth did you get thinner than when you were doing assignments and exams?”
“........”
“Don’t overdo it.”
“That bastard Eun Hae-seong also asked me yesterday if something was wrong with me? Do I really look that bad?”
Even though Kim Dae-seok was worried, he immediately filled the empty glass with soju. I grinned and held up my refilled soju glass.
“I haven’t had an appetite the past few days, that’s all.”
“Are you sick to death? Why do you suddenly have no appetite that is so damn bad?”
“Don’t you guys know me?”
In fact, I knew they knew me very well... but I didn’t want to reveal the story about Chae Yoo-jeong, so I pretended not to know.
I had already told Kim Dae-seok that Chae Yoo-jeong and Yoo Chae were not the same person, and I had no desire to explain the problem with Chae Yoo-jeong to others and receive comfort. I didn’t feel like getting any relief would make me feel better.
“Stop talking nonsense and have a drink.”
When I filled Kim Dae-seok’s empty glass with soju and turned to him, Kim Dae-seok clicked his tongue and obediently clinked the glasses together.
After drinking with Kim Dae-seok until closing hour, when I came out of the store, thick snowflakes were falling under the night sky. There has been a lot of snow these days.
-Ever since a long time ago, good things have always happened when it snows
As I looked at the white snow falling from the sky, I thought of Chae Yoo-jeong.
-Today, I am the happiest I’ve ever been
When I remembered his brightly smiling face with a sincere confession, I was filled with hot emotions and the corners of my eyes were distorted.
It’s been a week since Chae Yoo-jeong’s birthday and the day I found out about his betrayal. From that day on, Chae Yoo-jeong contacted me every single day, but I never once responded to him.
I deliberately didn’t read the piled up messages and didn’t answer the phone. I can’t bear to block it, so I just leave it alone... but I can’t continue to ignore it like this.
It snowed non-stop even while returning home. I didn’t feel like wearing a coat or a hat, so I just rolled my eyes and took out a cigarette from my pocket. Just as I was about to put a cigarette in my mouth, I saw a person under the light of the street lamp across from me.
Chae Yoo-jeong, hearing the sound of footsteps, raised his head and made eye contact with me. He must have been waiting for a long time, and his hair was wet in the light of the street lamp.
“Hyung……”
I quietly put away the cigarette in my hand. I wasn’t that surprised or offended when Chae Yu-jeong came to visit. I rather expected that the time had come for him to come.
Not only Chae Yoo-jeong but also I had reached the limit of patience. This problem had to be solved one way or another. Even if the conclusion is not good.
As I walked over without saying a word, Chae Yoo-jeong lowered his head. Thick teardrops overflowed from the corners of his heated eyes. Chae Yoo-jeong stuttered and opened his mouth, swallowing his harsh breath to hold back his cries.
“I’m sorry I came to you on my own.”
“.......”
“I understand that you don’t like me. But I really, ugh, I can’t end it like this...”
My head hurt as I watched Chae Yoo-jeong continue to cry, unable to control his emotions.
“I understand, so stop crying.”
“S-sorry…I’m sorry…”
“You said you would explain everything to me then.”
I spoke firmly, ignoring Chae Yoo-jeong’s pleading face.
“Follow me. Let’s hear what a great explanation it is.”
Chae Yoo-jeong pursed his lips. But in the end he couldn’t refuse and chased after me as I walked ahead.
I took Chae Yoo-jeong to a 24-hour cafe near my house and sat down with him in an isolated corner.
In the meantime, Chae Yoo-jeong, who had finally stopped crying, seemed to have calmed down a little, and was shivering in the pale daylight even in the warm room. I said, without paying attention.
“Please explain however you feel comfortable. I’ll listen to whatever I feel comfortable with.”
“.......”
“I will make a judgment after hearing everything.”
It was the last consideration I could give Chae Yoo-jeong. Chae Yoo-jeong, who hesitated for a while, started to speak with a resigned look.
***
The woman who married the man she loved became pregnant the following year.
With a man who was genuinely happy about her pregnancy and congratulations from those around her, the woman raised the child in her belly without much worry.
But her happiness did not last long. Her peaceful daily life was suddenly destroyed by the man’s affair when she was eight months pregnant. The person he was having an affair with was a woman from the same workplace.
As soon as the man was discovered having an affair, he left the woman and her unborn child without any regrets. For a woman who was abandoned by the man she loved in the blink of an eye, the child in her stomach was no longer a welcome presence.
There was no way that Chae Yoo-jeong, the child born that way, would have been loved by a normal family.
The second floor of an old 10-pyeong villa with a kitchen and two small rooms. Chae Yoo-jeong lived there with a woman who was busy working.
Time passed and it was a day in February when Chae Yoo-jeong graduated from elementary school and he turned 14.
Chae Yoo-jeong, who was watching the snowflakes falling beyond the window, hurriedly ran when he heard the sound of the front door opening. When the woman returned late at night, she smelled strongly of alcohol.
Chae Yoo-jeong, who was anxiously watching the drunk woman staggering around, tried to take off her shoes, but was startled by her staggering body and reflexively grabbed his arm. But the woman mercilessly shook off her child’s hand.
“Dirty.......”
“…….”
The criticism, spat out in a slurred pronunciation, became a sharp needle, and pierced his heart painfully. The disgust he had vaguely felt since he was a child touched his skin more clearly than ever before.
The woman who pushed Chae Yoo-jeong’s unconscious body in frustration stumbled and entered her room. Left alone in front of the front door, Yoo-jeong blinked his eyes, and then he smelled his body.
Then a really strong odor came from his body. The woman said he was dirty because he really was dirty. Chae Yoo-jeong didn’t know what to do and looked alternately between the bathroom and the room the woman entered.
‘What do I do.......’
He had to wash my body to get rid of his smell, but if he turned on the water while she was sleeping, he would probably get scolded for being noisy. Chae Yoo-jeong, who had been pacing in front of the bathroom, smelling his own body several times, eventually picked up a thin coat, put it on, and carefully opened the front door.
He couldn’t stay at home because he was so worried about the bad smell coming from his body. If he couldn’t wash, he had no choice but to go out so he couldn’t smell it.
Chae Yoo-jeong came out in the middle of winter and sat with his butt in front of a heavily rusted iron gate. Chae Yoo-jeong shrugged his shoulders and held his hands together as the chilly wind blew that threatened to engulf him.
Chae Yoo-jeong felt quite satisfied, even though he was cold, because the snow fluttering under the yellow street lights was like flower petals. As he looked at the snowflakes twinkling in the light, he felt the cold on his skin a little less.
He was in that state for a while and he was staring blankly into his eyes. An umbrella appeared out of nowhere and blocked Chae Yoo-jeong’s view.
Chae Yoo-jeong reflexively curled his body and turned his head to the side. Then the large umbrella tilted slightly to his side, revealing the face of the person standing in front of him.
“Hi.”
His facial features revealed beneath his hair, which was as black as the night sky, were very straight. The boy carrying a school bag on his back naturally greeted him while holding an umbrella in one hand and a convenience store bag in the other.
“What are you doing here?”
The boy asked Chae Yoo-jeong again, who was frozen in shock. Chae Yoo-jeong barely answered that innocent question, which did not show the slightest hint of malice on his part, wriggling his clasped hands.
He didn’t even know why he felt cold because his body heats up for no reason due to the interest that a stranger is showing him. He was overly concerned about the person approaching him.
‘It’s going to stink.’
He was afraid that he would call him dirty like that woman did.
“Huh? Aren’t you cold?”
“Not really.......”
The boy, who stared at Yoo-jeong for a moment without making eye contact and answering vaguely, rummaged through the convenience store bag, and held out something.
“Do you want to eat this?”
Chae Yoo-jeong accepted the thing he gave without even knowing what it was because he handed it to him so suddenly and without hesitation. A warm feeling spread out from his palm. Funnily enough, what the boy handed out was a piece of warmed triangle kimbap.
“It’s my favorite flavor, you eat it.”
“……”
Before Chae Yoo-jeong, who was taken aback by the sudden appearance of triangle kimbap, could reply, the boy left without any regrets. Chae Yoo-jeong, who had received something for the first time in his life, looked down at the triangle kimbap with a dazed expression.
There was a faint, fragrant smell. He had the illusion that the smell of the triangle kimbap was covering up his own bad smell.
Chae Yoo-jeong looked at the place where the boy had left for a long time, holding a triangle kimbap that felt warmth.
---
Credits:
Translator: Hoshi Miya
Editor: Meimei
Support on Kofi:
HM: It seems that he met him earlier. omg
GX: I did not expect it to go down the childhood crush route, I thought it was only middle/high school infatuation.
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